06.15.19
As I start my first big girl job on Monday, I was sitting and reflecting on the process of getting there. I am hesitant to really post about having a job because there was a lot of struggle preceding my offer. You see, I struggled with getting rejected from multiple jobs. Being someone who usually nails interviews and gets almost any job, I did not understand rejection or the realities of post grad career searching.
I was rejected from a lot of jobs that I felt I was "perfect" for. My body began showing signs of stress with weekly migraines, anxiety attacks, constant crying and sadness, and my psoriasis flaring up. I began questioning my worth and what was wrong with me to not get hired before graduation in May. I saw peers on LinkedIn landing jobs and announcing their successes everywhere. I hated seeing those posts even though I knew the intention of them were harmless. My mental health was at an all time low, and I felt completely worthless.
This semester consisted of a huge mix of both bitter and sweet memories, but it mostly consisted of growth. It eventually hit me that all of this stress and anger is not going to help my confidence or my search for a job. I picked myself up and adopted the mantra of "letting go and letting God" (if you are not religious, try to think about this as just trusting that life has a way of working out).
This mindset changed a lot for me. I understood that my pain is a part of the process, and it made me grow up a lot. I needed to be rejected, to doubt, and to stress to appreciate the blessings that eventually came. This mantra made me reassess my mindset and how I was living. Once I started to do that, I didn't take rejection so personally. I grew confident in who I was and allowed myself to learn from each situation. Rejection only made me work harder. I applied to 5 more jobs after 1 rejection. I sent my resume to my network and searched for LinkedIn connections.
Eventually, I found a job where I felt at home. I met a team who recognized my skills and value and I am beyond excited to start my career out.
The whole point of this post is to say that if any of the above is how you are feeling, I want to let you know that you will find a job. You will be successful, and you will find happiness post graduation.
Keep on working towards what you want in your life and keep believing in yourself. Remember that you have a personal timeline, not the Instagram timeline that everyone else is on. There is no one and nothing that should make you feel unworthy or like a failure because you are amazing, job or no job. I hated that kind of positivity when I felt so low, but it is so true. Take the time you need to heal, but pick yourself back up.
P.s. Your first job might not be a dream job, might not pay a lot, and might SUCK. However, remember you have employment, and you are gaining experience to use as a stepping stone toward another company or role that you'll love. It's all a learning process; you have to keep pushing to find what truly makes you happy.
Thanks for reading!
If you are into travel, I just uploaded a [not so brief] summary of my trip to Ireland!
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