The Adventures of Making Adult Friends

February 26, 2020

The Adventures of Making Adult Friends

Back in early December, I posted to my story asking how people make adult or post-grad friends. Thankfully, the majority of my college friends and even some high school friends are still my friends today. However, it's tough when you aren't all in the same space anymore and schedules start changing with time. Since May, I have been in maintenance mode when it comes to friendships, but never thought to step into growth mode. A lot of my excuses boil down to two factors. I'm living in Canton with my parents and don't really venture out of my house, and I work in a small office, so there is not a lot of opportunity to make an abundance of friends.

The reality is, new post-grad friendships are hard to come by no matter what your situation is at hand. Being mindful of my complacency, I decided I wanted to start getting out of my comfort zone and *try* to meet new people. Hence where my story grew from. There were a few apathetic responses to my question and a lot of people reached out to tell me they're in the same boat as me. I felt comforted by the women who shared the same struggle, but also encouraged by trying to discover something that could help more people than just myself.

For the next few months, I decided to gradually add in new activities. Here are my thoughts about them and how beneficial it has been in fostering new friendships.

Atlanta Girl Gang

Late November, I joined Atlanta Girl Gang with one of my college besties in an attempt to get out of the house more and possibly meet new young adult friends. ATL Girl Gang is $35/year, and some events are an additional cost. That being said, I have not paid over $10-20 for an event so far. The events we went to are Member's Mart and Babes Who Brunch. In March, we will be going to their conference, "Hey Ladies," which costs $85 for the ticket and $105 for VIP Tickets.

Member's Mart with Lexi and her mama! Not really a socializing event.
We actually met two really cool girls at this event!

What I like about ATL Girl Gang is it provides a great opportunity to get outside of your comfort zone by doing fun things like shop, brunch, and meet for happy hours. In addition, it has a Facebook community where you can ask all sorts of questions and make your own groups.

Something I don't love about ATL GG is it can be hard going to these events alone if you are shy/anxious/introverted. This is true for any new club you join. A way to combat this is to sign up with someone; it helps if they are more outgoing than you are, too. I love having Lexi with me because we have each other to fall on, but can meet other groups of girls. It's also nice having this club with her because it's an easy way to make plans!

While going to events alone gives me a lot of anxiety, I really admire people who go to the events alone. It sort of forces you to sit with new people and get to know them! If you are joining solo, come find us! We love meeting new people. Overall, my experience has been great. I'm always so excited to go to their events, and everyone from ATL GG has been very kind and welcoming.

Bumble BFF

Bumble BFF was the most common response I got when I asked how to make adult friends. As someone who has never been on a dating app, this was kinda weird to me. Despite this being intimidating, I did not hesitate to give it a try. I made my profile, answered a few questions, and wrote a short bio about myself. 

Let me start off by saying that I have zero experience starting conversations with strangers through apps. I felt so awkward when I sent my first message to a girl; it kind of felt like recruitment "girl flirting" all over again. The whole concept of swiping right and left was confusing af to me but I eventually got the hang of it (by this I mean I basically swiped yes to everyone that lived close to me).

I have to say overall, I didn't really like this app. I think it's great for people new to areas and starting from zero. As someone who has a great group of local friends, I was less motivated to answer people and actually use the app. I also was a victim of girls trying to sell me products over the app which to me is very annoying, but I know people have their own ways of making money.

That being said, I was able to "meet" a few people through the app whom I follow on instagram. We have yet to hang out, but it's all good. I think this app is great for more outgoing people who aren't nervous about meeting complete strangers. For me, I get nervous asking people to plans and then meeting up with them in fear of having nothing to talk about. Eventually, I hope I can get out of my comfort zone in this area and really try to meet some new people through bumble. I deleted the app for now, but may ask some of the girls I talk to outside of the app to hang out.

**Will keep you updated on that adventure - if there is one.

Work Friends

A lot of people cite this as a great way to make friends. Unfortunately, my office has 10 people in it, and we all range in age. With that, I still try and get lunch with people from the office and go to anything I'm invited to outside of work (i.e nonprofit events). Luckily I have one person pretty close to my age, so we are able to relate on things besides work topics.

Even if you are in a situation like mine, it is still great to form relationships with your coworkers. I've been able to get close with a few of my coworkers, and it really makes the day go by faster. It's nice being able to get different prospective from people and learn from older colleagues' advice. 

For people who have an abundance of coworkers, take advantage! Make it a point to meet new people, and go the extra mile to hang out outside the office. Having friends at work makes the day go by faster, gives you people who understand your schedule (especially if you have weird hours), and you are all in similar life stages to navigate through together. If there was any time to step out of your comfort zone in search of friendship, this is the easiest way. 

New hobbies

This is a great way to meet new people. Through Atlanta Girl Gang's Facebook community, I was able to join a book club with 9 different girls in the group. I'm so excited to meet new people this way, plus I've been wanting to start reading again. Beyond book clubs, look into different types of skills you might want to learn. There are many Facebook community groups and classes being offered in all different areas. 

Some feedback I got was to start going to the gym to meet people. I don't really understand this concept because I go to the gym and zone out. I thought to include this, though, because I know of a few friends who have met people through the gym and they now have a workout buddy. I also think joining fitness classes could be a great way to meet people. I have been wanting to try yoga and a lot of places offer a community feeling. If you're an ex-athlete, try joining adult teams! It'd be great to get back into soccer again, get a different kind of workout with your routine, and get new friendships. 

The moral of this story is put yourself out there! New friendships take vulnerability and you are never going to form any if you stay in your comfort zone. Everyone is on this struggle bus so be patient with yourself and understand that meaningful relationships take time to grow. 

Best of luck to all my adult girlies out there!

Post a Comment